So today my Mom had forwarded me an email in which a man was
discussing a conversation on a shortwave radio.
In this conversation a man was asking a younger man why he was wasting
his marbles by working so much and not spending his time with this family. He used an analogy of a marble representing a
week in his remaining life. This spurred
a thought on my part of how to modify this analogy and expand it. As my other post have mentioned, my son
struggles with drug addiction. Currently
his girlfriend who also deals with the same and his daughters have moved back
to her mother’s house. One of the
hardest things for me is to talk to Chris and try to get him to understand what
I am trying to say. Like many of his
generation, he seems to deal better with visible or physical examples such as what
I did with a plate a while back. Here is
the letter that I gave after basically explain the concept to him. Include with the letter are the items
mentioned in the letter below:
Life is a Jar of Marbles
So each glass bead in the jar represents a year in your
life. You can look at each bead in a
number of ways. The simplest is that
each bead represents a possible Christmas spent with your daughters. Each bead means so much more though:
· Every moment of happiness or sadness
· Every moment of learning and wonder on your part
· Every moment of wonder on your daughters part, be it the first time they see a field of Christmas lights, a first loose tooth and visit form the tooth fairy or the joy of a snow day or warm day in the sun
· The first crush and the heartache that follows
· The sense of accomplishment for a task done to the best of your abilities
· The sun and rain and wind on your face, the brisk feel of a cold morning dew
· Unfortunately also every moment wasted in the grip of a drug or other unhealthy habit
· The time wasted on being bitter about what others have or have succeeded in doing
· Time wasted holding a grudge or anger that hurts no one but yourself
So each year either at your Birthday or New Years, you need
to remove a glass bead. Take a moment to
hold that glass bead and study what that glass bead means in moments of the
year just passed. You will notice that
out of all the beads, there are no identical beads. Some will look close to the same, but if you
study the beads you will notice differences in texture, size, shape and color
to name a few. These beads as I said
represent a year in your life. While some
years may feel like they are the same, if you study the year you will notice
that it is never the same as any other year.
Each year is full of choices you have made and others have made that
affect your life and others. For instance
your daughters are currently at an age where your love and approval mean
everything to them. As each year goes by
your ability to influence their decisions and life will be less and less. So when you are done reflecting on the year
and bead, you will need to either throw it out or destroy it. To be truly symbolic, throw it in a creek or
river to show the flow of time. As with
the marble when it is gone, a year that has passed cannot be done again,
relived or redone. All the marble is now
is a memory, just like the year that has passed.
Along with this Jar of Life, is included a Journal of Life. This journal has no lines or other marking in
it. Every page just like every year,
month and day of your life is a blank page waiting to be written on. It is your choice if you want to write or
draw in this journal. Lisa and I will
not read this journal nor will we look for it.
It is up to you what you want to put in here, memories of things the
kids have said, how you feel for the day or week. I would suggest you write how you feel each
day or week and why. What are you
thinking what are your dreams and hopes.
Draw small pictures or images that have meaning to you. In the end it is up to you what you do with
the journal, just as it is up to you what you do with your life and in the end
your responsibility as to what you make of your life.
